Author Archives: Brownnies Blog

My mind is my biggest enemy Going against my sanity Overthinking and conceiving yet I don’t understand a thing I just want to be me Far as my eyes can see Becoming harder to breathe Memories starting to fade Teardrops from yesterday Fleeing from the pain to repair myself I know I tend to sayContinue reading “Regaining my sanity ? Kindof”

Side note- this is a rant so take it how you perceive it and let the rest be received. I’m so over it. I am over always pretending and painting on some face that isn’t at all how I feel inside. I’m tired of society not accepting such behaviors and calling you out as aContinue reading “DEAD PARENT STIGMA”

your eyes turned colors with the change in the waves. waiting for the day I can see you face. question my strength from deep within. knowing the moment I touch the water I am in your divinity. laid to rest with the saltiest kiss, it’s bittersweet you are the reason I exists the reason IContinue reading “Because this is all I have left of you”

Today was the first time I performed since having a panic attack in my senior year of high school right after my dad‘s death trying to perform a poem about him and I’m finally getting over that stage fright, everything you go through happens for a reason and despite the sarcasm and ignorance of thatContinue reading “PANIC”

Idk lately I have been nothing but happy but under the fake smiles and false laughs I am still healing. I don’t think this pain will ever truly go away and I understand that it just sucks I just want to talk to him. Your my sun,my sky Keep me calm and hold me tightContinue reading “Life LOL”

After losing my dad I was filled with regret and anger. I didn’t understand why him, why now. Cancer took a toll on the whole family, being a constant factor of my dads decreasing health conditions. My heart is heavy and I am not sure that will go away. Don’t take small things for granted.Continue reading “Growth”

Moving down here has honestly been one of the hardest things I have done. Besides loosing my dad moving 1000 plus miles away is a lot. I knew things wouldn’t be the same, I didn’t think they were going to be. I went into the journey with a clear mind and relaxing heart. Despite priorContinue reading “Moving”

Today was the first time I felt like myself in a while. The one thing that connects me most with the ocean is the fact my dad was dropped to lay at rest there. So when it comes to the ocean that’s my life end of story. Today was the second time I went divingContinue reading “Diving”

Music is such a good way to just escape reality. Ever since my dad passed away I’ve been trying to write a song but nothing seems to stick. It’s like I’m trying to get the words out but I just don’t know what to say, it’s harder than it looks. I think I just needContinue reading “Music for the soul”

 This shit is hard. It takes a lot to not be inside all day and not enable yourself to be depressed. I think if you look at life in a different way more positively you can change your mindset and change the way you react to situations. The coronavirus is a curse and a blessingContinue reading “Grandma”