You are strong, you are enough. Listening to these words come out of my mothers as I stared into space trying my absolute best to hold back my tears. A teacher came up to me today and told me I looked exhausted, and in fact I am. I am so tired of never being happy, never being with it. I love to easy to much. I put my trust in the wrong people and get nothing in return. I know I should receive more but I keep going back. Is it because I love them or because I am so used to it by now that the pain is numb. I texted her today. I apologized. It still hurts. Hurting and crying and thinking I can’t seem to shake it. I loved him. I love him. I haven’t talked to him in months and yet he is still the last thing I think about before bed. I can’t sleep. I wake up crying from night meats of him laying in the hospital bed with tubes hanging out of him. Tramatized is a understatement. I need air. I need peace.
Balanced Butterfly 